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Couples Therapy on the Big Island of Hawai’i

For couples who love each other but keep getting caught in the same difficult conversations, conflicts, or disconnection.

I help couples slow down the cycle, understand what's happening underneath the conflict, and build new ways of communicating, repairing, and staying connected.

When the same conflict keeps happening

You may be coming to couples therapy because you keep having the same argument, feel increasingly disconnected, struggle to talk about difficult topics, or don't know how to repair after conflict.

Maybe one of you reaches for connection while the other pulls away. Maybe conversations about sex, money, family, parenting, or the future quickly become charged. Maybe something happened that changed the relationship and you're trying to figure out how to move forward.

Couples therapy isn't about deciding who is right. It's about understanding what happens between you—and learning how to respond differently.

What couples on Big Island Hawaii come to couples therapy for:

Recurring Conflict

You keep having the same argument without reaching resolution.

Parenting

You have different ideas of how to raise your child.

Life Transitions

Moving, career changes, or aging parents have shifted the relationship.

Emotional Disconnection

You care about each other but don't feel as close as you once did.

Communication

Be able to talk about difficult things without escalating or shutting down.

Shared Responsibility

You want a partner in taking care of your home.

Trust & Betrayal

You're trying to rebuild security after an affair or broken agreement.

Intimacy & Sex

Increase connection around sex, desire, affection, or physical connection.

LGBTQ+ Relationships

Tend to the dynamics that can arise around identity, gender & sexuality.

“We talked about what mattered most - to us.”

Support the parts
that are activated by the cycle

Respond to each other differently

Stop the negative cycle

Rather than asking…

“Who’s right?”

We get curious about what’s happening underneath the fight of the week.

What are you protecting?

What are you needing?

What are you trying to communicate when you act that way?

What do you try next?

Feel more connected and understood

Everyone is trying to get their needs met - that’s valid.

I help you do that more successfully.

The romantic relationship is often our primary attachment relationship in adulthood. I draw from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), an attachment-based approach that helps you understand the negative cycles you get caught in—and the deeper needs driving it so you can better communicate what you actually want - and be heard!

I weave in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy to support the parts of you that get defensive, shut down, criticize, or push harder. You are likely trying to protect something important.

What actually happens in couples therapy?

You will identify your cycle

We'll map out what happens when the two of you get disconnected—rather than treating either partner as the problem.

You will practice new ways of responding

You'll practice listening, expressing needs, responding differently, and repairing after disconnection.

You will slow things down

Instead of trying to solve everything at once, we'll practice staying engaged with what's happening in the moment.

You will start to understand each other

Listening deeply provides more mutual compassion and curiosity.

You will work underneath the argument

Many recurring conflicts are carrying deeper concerns about security, rejection, trust, autonomy, worth, or being understood.

You will have new tools for lasting change

You are building a relationship where both people can feel more secure, understood, and connected.

Couples Therapy for the Hawai’ian Islands

I provide couples therapy throughout the Hawaiʻian Islands, including:

  • North Kohala - Hawi, Kapa’au, Waimea

  • Hawai’i Island - Kona, Hilo, Puna, Ka’u

  • O’ahu - Honolulu, Kailua

  • Maui - Kahului, Kihei, Kula

  • Kaua’i - Lihue, Kapa’a

  • And surrounding islands and communities

  • Couples sessions are available online, making therapy accessible whichever island you are on.

LGBTQ+ Affirming Couples Therapy in Hawai’i

You don’t need to worry about being judged by your therapist. I work affirmingly with LGBTQ+ couples, including partners navigating questions around gender, sexuality, transition, family dynamics, intimacy, and identity.

Explore LGBTQ+ Therapy

A relationship therapist who understands the bigger picture

My work is grounded in attachment, relationships, and the belief that people make more meaningful change when they feel understood rather than judged. I bring training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, Internal Family Systems, CBT, EMDR, and other approaches to help couples understand both the relationship dynamic and the individual experiences each partner brings into it.

My approach is warm, direct, curious, and practical. I won't take sides or try to determine who's “right.” I'll help you slow down what's happening between you so we can work with it together.

Work With Angela

Frequently Asked Questions

  • It's common for partners to feel differently about starting therapy. One person might be ready to talk, while the other worries about being blamed, criticized, or pressured to change. You don't have to arrive with the same level of enthusiasm or certainty. We can start by exploring what each of you hopes for, what feels difficult about being here, and what would help therapy feel worthwhile. The goal isn't to take sides—it's to help both of you feel heard and find a way forward together.

  • Repeated arguments often point to something deeper than the topic you're fighting about. Beneath frustration or defensiveness, one partner may be longing for reassurance or connection, while the other feels criticized, overwhelmed, or afraid of getting it wrong. Before long, you're reacting to each other instead of reaching each other. In therapy, we'll work to identify what's happening between you, understand what each of you needs, and practice new ways of responding so difficult conversations can lead to greater understanding rather than more hurt.

  • Yes. Infidelity can shake the foundation of a relationship, leaving partners with painful questions, broken trust, and very different experiences of what happened. Therapy provides space to address the hurt, understand the impact, and explore what rebuilding trust would require. Healing takes time, and there's no one-size-fits-all timeline. Whether you're hoping to repair your relationship or still trying to figure out what comes next, we can work toward greater clarity and a more intentional path forward.

  • You don't need to have a clear explanation for what's happening to begin therapy. Sometimes distance develops gradually through busy schedules, accumulated disappointments, stress, or conversations that never quite happen. You might still care deeply about each other but feel more like roommates than partners. We'll explore what the disconnection looks like for each of you, what may be contributing to it, and how to begin rebuilding closeness, curiosity, and connection. You don't have to know exactly what needs to change before we start.

  • You don't have to be struggling to benefit from couples therapy. Even strong relationships can benefit from intentional time to reconnect, explore each other's inner worlds, and keep growing together. We can focus on strengthening communication, deepening emotional and physical intimacy, navigating differences with greater ease, and building skills that support your relationship through life's changes. Think of it as investing in the relationship you have and the one you want to keep creating together.

  • Absolutely. I welcome LGBTQ+ couples and relationships of all identities and configurations. Your relationship deserves care that respects who you are, how you define your partnership, and the experiences that shape your lives together. Whether you're navigating communication, intimacy, identity, family dynamics, or the impact of stress and discrimination, we'll work together in a space where you don't have to explain or defend the validity of your relationship.

  • Yes. You don't have to be certain you want to stay together to seek support. Sometimes one partner is ready to work on the relationship while the other is questioning whether they can or want to continue. Therapy can help you slow things down, speak honestly about what's brought you here, and explore what each of you needs. Depending on your goals, our work may focus on repairing the relationship, gaining clarity about your options, or making decisions with greater care and understanding.

  • Yes. I offer online couples therapy for couples located anywhere in Hawaiʻi. Meeting virtually allows you to attend from home or another private space that works for both of you, without adding a commute to your day. Online sessions can be a practical way to make consistent time for your relationship, even with busy schedules or when you're in different locations on the island.

  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps couples understand and change the emotional dynamics that leave them feeling disconnected, defensive, or caught in conflict. Rather than focusing only on communication techniques, we look at what's happening underneath your reactions—such as the need for reassurance, the fear of rejection, or the feeling that you're not enough for your partner. Together, we'll work to interrupt painful cycles, communicate more openly about what matters, and build a relationship where both partners can feel safer, more understood, and more connected.

  • In Hawai’i I accept self pay for couples therapy. I offer a limited number of sliding scale spots for those with financial need.

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